What a Day Can Bring...

Well, here I am AGAIN.  I can't seem to get into blogging---or rather, I fear what I may say...as I have mentioned before, I have A LOT to say.  A lot has went on since my last entry.  A LOT.  I don't really even know where to begin, so, I guess I will begin with what my daily prayers and thoughts belong to these past 4 months.  The "C" word has entered my life again.  My Sister's partner, Steph was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer on July 20th.  I will forever remember THAT day...THAT call-from Steph herself...the drive to pick up my sister-not so much (I'm lying-as I wish I could forget the drive)...the look on Angie's face when I arrived-embeded in my memory forever..and the embraces we all shared that day-will forever be with me.  It is SO crazy how you never-EVER know what you will wake up to and what the day ahead of you will bring.  How you can wake up refreshed and renewed ready to tackle the day and how in an instant your views on life and your whole perspective can drastically change.  Then, in that very same day you are wishing that the day had never happened or that you would just wake up from this nightmare--but you can't and you aren't in control and you are totally and completely POWERLESS-HELPLESS to change a single thing about it.  I went from enjoying a day off-shopping at Lowe's for paint to paint our front door with (the biggest challege of that day was going to be wondering if I made the right paint choice- to my day ended somewhere around 3am that following morning-crying myself to sleep and begging God to fogive me for cursing him the entire drive to Newton.  I must say, that to this day I still worry about how angry I was with God that day and that I cursed him-screaming NO, No, No...this isn't fair...WHY GOD, Why, WHY???  I refuse to type some other choice words that I used.  I'm sure anyone passing my car on the interstate that day that got a glance of me (bawling-pounding my fists on the steering wheel and screaming) would have been very afraid for their safety and mine.  You just never EVER know what the day will bring.  Every morning as I wake up I first say a prayer thanking God for the day.  I used to primarily pray at night before bed..and I still do..but I also say a prayer of "Thanks" in the mornings as well.   I have painted many rooms since that July day---and I must say, that every time I go into Lowe's the memory of that phone call I received as I was leaving that store that day still haunts me.  A few months have passed and this rollercoaster of cancer is rolling right along.  We are so very thankful and have recieved more good news than bad.  Steph's type of cancer was operable and she is in a much better situation than we were originally told she was in so we feel very thankful and blessed.  She is undergoing chemo right now and will finish up in February...Steph is a STRONG cookie and will beat this.  It is so true that your life can change in an instant...you never know what a day can bring.